I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
