My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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