he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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