not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize