you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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