When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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