you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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