I wanna bring you to show and tell
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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