I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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