is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
