he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
