Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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