dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
