If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
