margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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