i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
