Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The best revenge is premature balding
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
