It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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