Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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