no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
