Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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