apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
