It's like God shit irony all over that family
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
