can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
