can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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