I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
