that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This is my gift to your gina
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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