she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
