Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
