This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
