how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
