omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the day after is always just damage control
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The air taste purple.
Randomize