Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
