On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
