I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I woke up under a house in Key West
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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