I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize