I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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