i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
