What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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