I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just sent this text using only my big toe
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
