I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
