didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
