I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
