Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize