like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Randomize
