My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
