My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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