The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Someone came in the potted fern
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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