I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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