so explain again why im purple
no
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
