she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
