Kareoke will never be a sober sport
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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