K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
His nipple licking is glorious
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
