Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
