It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
