How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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