There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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