i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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