I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
ttyl tear gas
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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