HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
