Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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