I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
