You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
