he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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