I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
