You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
